The dark clouds close in, bringing a splatter of drizzle. The slate, almost still mirror of the Columbia River belies the turbulent entrance to the Pacific ocean a few miles down. Bland industrial buildings are broken up by brightly colored Victorian homes. It is a sleepy Saturday with only a few people braving the elements to trod along the riverwalk. However, a few blocks from the water something is stirring. There is the clatter of metal kegs being put into place. The smell of woodsmoke fills the air, followed quickly by the scent of bacon. As you approach this spot, a sense of anticipation grows. You see small groups of people bundled up, talking excitedly, many wearing clothing items bearing the name of some brewery or other. Some familiar, some not. They all are moving toward the same destination. That is when you see a line, snaking around a building that takes up an entire block. The small groups have gathered into a horde, all clutching small fluted glasses. Many look at lists, some on their phone, some printed out. You glance over someone’s shoulder to spy the list. It is a list of beers, all dark, all malty, but all different. It is time for the annual ode to the stout. It is time for the Festival of Dark Arts.

For those unfamiliar with what I’m talking about Fort George Brewery (located in Astoria, Oregon) hosts an annual beer festival in February that is devoted to the art of the stout (a “carnival of stouts” if you will). As a craft beer nerd, I am a fan of beer fests in general, but ever since I first attended the Festival of Dark Arts in 2018 it has been far and away my favorite. Why? How different could a particular beer fest possibly be? Let me tell you.